Since the dawn of moving-making, there have been adaptations of the Robin Hood story. While it is a difficult task to identify which of these adaptations is the best, there is no contest that “Robin Hood” (2018), will go down as the worst! This 116 minute-long fiasco is absolutely miserable, a multiplex-theater disgrace, not only to the adaptation of any Robin Hood franchise, but to films in general.
In this movie, we see Taron Egerton play the titular thief Robin Hood, in what has to be a role he clearly agreed to for purely monetary purposes. He exerts little effort into a movie that he presumably knows will not be remembered by anyone, except for possibly those who suffered through it. No amount of monetary payment is worth the potential damage to an actor’s career as this catastrophic tragedy.
In this “Robin Hood,” Ben Mendelsohn plays a man who shouts a lot. That’s really it. He plays the Sheriff of Nottingham, and his character is a man who purely wants money. That, and the fact that he shouts is the most information we receive about this character throughout the whole movie. Seriously, I love Mendelsohn, and I don’t fault him for taking this role for money, but he looks bored the entire time. Mendelsohn is known for playing truly terrifying villains, yet here he is laughably lame! There was no sort of villainous aspect about him.
Even Jamie Foxx hams it up in this “film.” Although he was the most interesting character in “Robin Hood,” along with LITERALLY everyone else involved in any aspect of this film, Foxx appears completely disinterested in his performance. Even his introduction isn’t exciting or inventive. It’s all apart of this completely forgettable crusade subplot that is supposed to be a criticism of religion and war, but just comes across as forced, boring and contrived.
There is both an anti-religious message to this movie and an anti-atheist message, and both fall completely flat. The anti-religious message was sprinkled throughout, such as showing the church stealing comically large amounts of money from the peasants, and it was about as effective at conveying its message as it was at making money, which it didn’t do (This film cost $100 million to produce, yet yielded only $48 million at the box office). All of the clergy in “Robin Hood” are corrupt and look like Xerxes from “300.” I’m not opposed to an anti-religious theme at all; however, it was so comically bad and lazy that it became a parody of anti-religious material. Imagine a host of super-over-the-top Christian PSAs warning of alcohol and sex, but reverse that into an atheist PSA against religion—that’s “Robin Hood.” In addition to the film’s criticism of religion, one line has Foxx lambasting Mendelsohn’s character for using religion for personal gain, despite not being religious. Foxx says something like, “without religion there is no purpose.” So the movie just ditched its anti-religious message with this poorly delivered line that really didn’t make any sense.
Along with anti-religious tones, there was an anti-war message. Anti-war themes can often be effective in showing the needless suffering that often arises from war, but “shockingly” this one fails to be effective. “Robin Hood” takes place during the Crusades, yet feels like all of the characters were referring to the Iraq War instead. Everyone but the Sheriff of Nottingham is anti-war. They’re not against it because of the death and destruction that they’re not experiencing, they’re just mad that their taxes have gone up.
Another lazy aspect about the “film” was in one scene where Robin Hood and Maid Marian reunite inside of a church, and it looks like they’re stagehands for a Rolling Stones concert. Seriously! They are both dressed like 21st century Mick Jagger. This is some of the laziest costume design that I have ever seen. What’s even more shocking is that given the massive budget of this “movie,” these are the best costumes they could come up with.
The only redeeming scene in this two-hour wasteland was a montage of Robin learning how to properly shoot a bow and arrow. It appears to pay homage to the training sequence in “Batman Begins,” and it is for that purpose that I actually enjoyed this scene. However, while Bruce Wayne trains for around a year to become proficient in martial arts, it took Robin Hood around six days to become a master of the bow and arrow.
Don’t waste your time with “Robin Hood.” If you haven’t seen this movie, you shouldn’t. It’s terrible, it’s not entertaining, it’s boring and it’s terrible. Did I say that “Robin Hood” was terrible? It’s a waste of time and money. Donate your money to a charity instead. Take the same time and spend it exercising or doing something productive. Be warned—”Robin Hood” steals from you and gives to themselves.
1/5 Stars
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‘Robin Hood’ only steals your time and money
Jon Walsh, Outlook Editor
December 2, 2018
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