Lauren Douda
Dating in the modern world has been ruined by the use of technology.
If you’re anything like me, growing up watching rom-coms and reading cheesy romance books, you probably spent your teenage years imagining what college romance would look like. Maybe you’d bump into someone at the library, catch someone’s eye during class or have a meet-cute moment at a coffee shop downtown. Books and movies made it seem like nearly every moment was full of possibility.
But, if you’re anything like me, you were also sorely disappointed when you realized that not everything is like it seems in the media. College doesn’t seem to be full of meet-cutes. In this digital age we’re living in, romance seems to spark not in real life, but rather on a screen. Instead of meeting someone face-to-face, we’re swiping left and right.
With the surplus of dating apps like Hinge, Bumble and Tinder, it can feel nearly impossible to make genuine connections, to understand who this random person is that you’re talking to over the phone. Conversations often feel forced, profiles are curated and authenticity often seems to get lost in translation.
Even when you meet someone in person, the majority of your correspondence ends up taking place through a screen, through text, Snapchat or Instagram DMs. There’s something about this that feels inherently wrong to me. The reliance on technology in dating today has made it so much harder to commit to a person. Talking to someone over the phone, rather than in person, takes away the natural rhythm of human connection. It almost feels like the cheater’s way out — easy, convenient and risk-free. You can ghost, misread or avoid accountability in one tap.
Many people I know, myself included, have experienced the situation of “talking” to someone for weeks, only for them to avoid meeting up in person. We’ve become a generation that’s bold behind screens but shy in reality. What does it say about us that we can confess feelings over text but can’t hold eye contact in person?
Nearly half of Americans, or 45% of respondents, in a Forbes Health/One Poll survey reported that the top spot for meeting someone to date today is on online dating apps. But even with this accessibility, most people don’t seem to feel like it’s working.
In a similar survey, also found in Forbes, researchers determined that 91% of men and 94% of women “think the current dating environment is more difficult than ever.” That statistic says a lot about where we are as a culture. While technology has made everything more accessible, it’s also made things less authentic.
Maybe it’s time to reverse things. To put down our phones, look up from our screens and give “old-fashioned” romance, with awkward small talk and coffee dates, a real chance again.
Lauren Douda is a sophomore English and secondary education major from Lexington, South Carolina. Lauren can be reached at [email protected].