Hello and welcome to all of my fellow healthy tigers. 

As we come back from our Clemson cold-turkey, chances are that maybe one or two of the some-odd 25,000 of you will have questions. I’m here to do my very best to answer them. In these dire times of safety ordinances, intense boredom, and having our noses violated with fun-sized Q-Tips, remember that the future is bright and we’re on the fastest road home. I’m Davis White; an RA, Junior double-major in English & Communication, and your friend in the struggle. These are your questions. 

Question #1: “I’ve read the emails from Clemson about wearing a mask, but is it okay for me and my friends to take ours off in my dorm?”

As inconvenient as wearing a mask may seem, it’s important to the safety of the Clemson collective. On campus, it’s important to follow the guidelines, even if to do no more than avoid a ticket or confrontation with staff. Off campus, it’s a personal decision to stay in close-quarters with friends, and while you’re more than encouraged to take precautions, there’s no stopping you from coming and going as you please. 

That said, I can promise that your friends in the Clemson Housing and Dining staff aren’t going to rope-swing through your windows and blow your door in for eating dinner with someone on your couch.  

I think that it’s a difficult line to walk, but as we’ve all been on Zoom and Snapchat, we’ve seen many of our friends fall to COVID; tragically unable to taste Fireball shots for a week. All joking aside, the spread is serious and the curve is rising. I have no doubt that all of the data from on-campus testing will come back absurdly worse than anticipated, and media stretching from The Tiger up to NBC will report doom beyond our imagination.

My advice: You made it into Clemson. You’re obviously at least mildly intelligent, so don’t be stupid. 

“Question #2: What are some good ways to pass the time? Online classes are keeping me inside and I’m tired of Netflix.” 

Firstly, if you say you’re tired of Netflix, you probably haven’t watched Ozark. That’s your homework. 

I’ll use the second part of this question as an endorsement for my latest read: Paul Tremblay’s Survivor Song. This 2020 novel came only months after the COVID outbreak and addresses the nightmare of an American response to a domestic outbreak of a super-rabies virus. It’s a bullet train from page one, and I recommend everyone do themselves a favor by reading it. 

One other thing I’ve been doing a lot recently is Zooming with my friends to do nothing but talk and try to find the best backgrounds. I’m having trouble finding documents in my Finder because of all of the memes I saved to take to Zoom classes. 

If you really want to apply your time to something practical and fulfilling, take a trip to the gym every day. Even a few minutes of cardio can make a major difference in almost all of the body’s major systems, including the brain. And who knows? Maybe your fifteen-minute jog could start you on your path to becoming Mr. or Ms. Universe 2024. 

Question #3: What’s a good list for the ceremonial first Walmart run?

My initial list, to be amended and modified by you, he Shopper, consists of but is not limited to:

• Trash can liners

• Floss that probably won’t get opened

• Fresh toothpaste & toothbrush

• Good socks

• A spare phone charger

• Paper towels

• A bathmat

• Folgers

• Possibly a new, sturdy backpack

• Double AA’s

• Chapstick

• As many bags of almonds as possible for self-checkout

Don’t forget to keep submitting your questions at: tinyurl.com/tig2tig