Just over a month ago, the Olympic torch was lit in Paris. This summer’s games had it all — photo finishes, world records, Snoop Dogg and even questionable breakdancing. The conclusion of the Olympics and the beginning of another semester at Clemson brings a new question to mind — what would the Clemson Olympics look like?
Olympic Tailgating
We have all walked past that one tailgate on gameday — the one with a three-TV setup, a Clemson tent, a pizza oven, 30 lawn chairs, a mini-bar setup and, of course, buffalo chicken dip. A tailgate like that deserves to be recognized.
Every four years, the top three diehard Clemson tailgaters should be awarded gold, silver, and bronze medals. The annual hunt for gold would yield crazier tailgates every year, and the rest of us could appreciate the select few who have truly mastered gameday.
The Parking Ticket Dash
Getting a parking ticket is in contention for the worst feeling ever, but what if a parking ticket evoked joy and victory? This event is all about who can get a ticket the quickest. Pick your spot and set the trap. It’s as easy as that.
While this event may be costly depending on where you park, there is some beauty in that — what are you willing to sacrifice to win gold? After all, success has a price tag (and so does a parking pass).
Library Gymnastics
For our next event, we are heading to the bottom floor of Cooper. Flipping a page too loudly on this level of the library will earn you some dirty looks — can you name a better place to hold a gymnastics competition?
Go ahead and try a back handspring, but you just might be kicked out if you land too heavy on your feet. Maybe a slow, steady somersault on the floor is the way to go. There is only one way to find out.
Reflection Pond Relay
Swimming is a staple of the Olympics, and Clemson has the perfect venue. Forget about the clean, appropriately-deep Olympic pools in which Michael Phelps set records. The Clemson Olympics will feature a swimming relay in the beloved Reflection Pond.
Good luck doing a kick turn in the two-foot-deep water, and don’t even think about diving. It might be faster to wade through the water on your feet. Regardless, build a team of four, and you could be on the podium in no time.
Schilletter Breakdancing
This summer, breakdancing was introduced as an Olympic event. Unlike pole vaulting, surfing, or water polo, anyone can dance at any time, even in a dining hall. It’s always a good day when the speaker is bumping at Schilletter, and although you may never know what song will play next, if you feel the music, get up and prove yourself to the unsuspecting Schilletter pizza-enjoyers who are now your judges.
Textbook Shot Put
Do you have textbooks you bought for class but have yet to open? You could try to sell them, or you could throw them 50 feet on Bowman Field. If you are feeling strong or just happy to be done with that one class, bring your book out and test your luck. For those with online textbooks, hold on to your computers for now.
Of course, the Clemson Olympics is only an idea right now, but you may one day have the chance to prove yourself. I can already see a beautiful opening torch ceremony complete with a jingle from the Tillman Hall bell tower.
For now, take your marks and get set for another great semester at Clemson — the race for gold has just begun.
