Come fall 2025, Clemson University will become a college entirely run by artificial intelligence to ensure efficiency and cease emotional skills. First, the University will fire all human professors...

As of March 32, the Clemson Po-po will enforce Transportation Security Administration tactics at the entrance of every bar in downtown Clemson. The o-po believed that it was in the best interest of...

On Sunday, TD’s of Clemson announced that they have officially banned Carrie Underwood’s song “Before He Cheats” from their karaoke list. The decision was made after the night prior when DJ...

In an attempt to prevent Tiger Boulevard from becoming a full-time parking lot of ravenous Chick-fil-A enthusiasts, the Clemson City Council has approved the construction of a dedicated Chick-fil-A drive-thru...

This past Sunday, the Clemson board of trumpets unanimously voted to authorize renovations of campus locations that are currently under construction. Current projects will be completed according to...

A Clemson student discovered a secret meth lab in the Strom Thurmond Research Institute basement as a part of a nationwide drug trade on Saturday. “I was intrigued, so I waited for the last person...

A Clemson man who was arrested last August for assaulting his roommate on a CATbus while naked has been appointed the new United States Secretary of Transportation under President Shmonald Shrump’s administration...

Tighty Whities Tighty whities, also known as the male granny panties, provide an excellent canvas for skid marks and the barely functional dorm washing machine. Almost 69% of male freshmen report coming...

Clemson Prez JP Clemdog announced on March 32 that Clemson’s Reflection Pond, currently lacking water, will be converted into a water park before the end of the spring semester. The original plan...

The city of Clemson Police Department has decided to change the legal drinking age in all local downtown Clemson bars to 18 years old. After various complaints from Mr. Wein regarding the loss of profit,...

Due to a recent resurgence in stories of formerly possessed students, Clemson has shut down Cooper Library so the Ghostbusters can investigate paranormal activity on the basement floor. The basement...

As part of Clemson’s recent efforts to promote campuswide sustainability, all students will now be receiving Stanley tumbler cups upon enrolling at the University. “We are committed to delivering...