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On the Prowl: ‘B’ for better not be

What happens when you do it all right, but it still goes wrong?

I’ve been in this relationship for upwards of six months now, and if there’s one thing I can always count on, it’s our sex life. We’re careful, safe and definitely fun. What makes us great is that we communicate so well when it comes to our wants, needs and even our kinks. I never feel like we’re out of the loop or on different pages when it comes to the bedroom, and that’s made for some of the best multiple-orgasm sex marathons I’ve ever had.

And we don’t joke about keeping it safe.

The last thing I want right now (maybe ever) is a baby, and I know my partner feels the same way. We always use condoms, and we’ve both been known to snag a few from Redfern when the paychecks are getting thin. Despite the fact that I personally don’t think a box of condoms should be so expensive, we’ve always made sure that safety comes first. We even did our research when we tried an on-sale vegan condom. They work! I haven’t asked my partner if it felt all that different, but something tells me it really doesn’t matter.

So, we’ve always been careful, and we’ve always maintained a healthy, monogamous sex life.

But something still went wrong.

It was an easy mistake — when you grab a small handful of condoms in Redfern, there’s a chance that one of them might not be right for you. As it turns out this one was XL, and while my partner certainly isn’t lacking in that department, XL he is not. 

The condom slipped off without either of us really noticing. 

The finding-it process was less than charming, I assure you, but the immediate aftermath was a little scary. Was I going to get pregnant? Was I going to have to contend with an abortion? With the backlash? 

Of course, I remembered the backup, Plan B — which is sold at Redfern in its generic and much cheaper form — and made sure I took it within 24 hours for the maximum effectiveness.

But those moments, those hours of fear … those should be addressed.

Because we did everything right, and neither of us wanted a pregnancy, a child or any of the decisions that follow with that. But I considered the looks I would get if some people knew, the cries that I shouldn’t be having sex if I wasn’t ready for the consequences. That maybe I shouldn’t have those resources available to me at all.

I want to tell every person capable of bearing children that this logic does not stand up. You and I and every other person deserve to pursue the pleasures of our bodies, in safe and respectable ways, without feeling judged for doing so. Just because a mistake happens, something you didn’t plan for and didn’t expect, doesn’t mean you should be saddled with a life-changing consequence, like a child. 

There are resources for you, and Plan B (which is not and never will be the abortion pill) is an excellent option for anyone who, like me, messed up. 

Now that it’s passed, am I going to stop having amazing sex with the person I love?


But we are going to check every Redfern condom, I can promise.

– XOXO, Connie Lingus

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