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Take it or Leave it: When to Stay or Walk Away From Relationships

Photo by Ashley Stout, Asst. Photo Editor
Knowing when to stay in a relationship can be a difficult choice.

A part of college is growing up and discovering who you really are as a person: Who are your real friends? What do you want to do for a career? What do you like and dislike about a boy or girl you favor? Most of you can probably relate to this as college students. 

Though I personally haven’t mastered my life (yet), it doesn’t mean that you can’t ever master yours. In fact, here’s a few tips that will help out with maintaining a positive, healthy lifestyle. The actions you make and the people you surround yourself with define you. When it comes to deal with it all, it’s about knowing when to take it or leave it.


Take It: If someone is there for you through good and bad and makes a mistake like telling one of your secrets to someone else, it can be difficult to decide if you want to trust this person again. If she told your information to someone to help you with the situation, keep the person in your life. For example, your friend knows you are cutting yourself and told an advisor or counselor to get you the help you need, this person really cares for you. She placed your friendship on the line so that you remain safe.


Leave It: If your friend gossips about your life and secrets, leave this relationship behind. It isn’t healthy for you or your friend. It is a lose-lose situation and isn’t worth the pain.


Leave It: Let’s say there’s this club you really want to get involved in, and can only stay involved if you are friends with everyone in the club. These “friends” don’t have a strong foundation of morals.

You hear them talk smack behind each other’s backs and pretend to be friends to everyone’s face. Leave it. Maybe the club is something you are really interested in, but if the people aren’t good, then the club most likely isn’t either. I believe it isn’t healthy to surround yourself with negativity just to bump up a resume. You only have one life and it isn’t worth it to be miserable with a group of distasteful people.


Take It: Suppose there is a problem you’re having with a close friend. It has been bothering you for a while and you really don’t like something this friend is doing. Bring it up. Confront your friend. Don’t attack the person, but kindly bring up the problem so that it is in the light and not swept under a rug. The only way to solve the problem is to talk about it. Chances are, if you’re close friends, he or she will listen to what you have to say and really think about it.


Leave It: You’ve been dating this girl for a while now…like more than a year. You are practically best friends and are completely comfortable with her. She begins to act differently than the girl you initially fell in love with, and you don’t like it. You’ve brought the issue up and she hasn’t done anything to change. To make the relationship better, you must entirely alter yourself.

As hard as it is, abandon ship. 

We are all still young and enjoying life. It is never too late to turn around and walk in the other direction, no matter how much time you have put into building the relationship. If your SO isn’t willing to negotiate with you and it is on something that is important to you, leave. The relationship is no longer healthy, especially if you are more exhausted with trying than actually enjoying your time together.


Take It: The boyfriend of your dreams has stuck around and you love everything about him: his hair, face, personality, intelligence and kindness. One day, he gets really angry and starts to yell at you for something that isn’t your fault. The best advice I can give to you is to leave the situation immediately. Give him time to cool off. He will probably contact you apologizing for it soon. You know what it is like to be angry and to take it out on someone you love. Unfortunately, we all do it. Don’t get angry and fight back with him—it will only make matters worse. Remove yourself from that environment for the time being. If this is a repetitive issue, then leave. It isn’t going to change.

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