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Rocky Road to Tinder Love: A humorous take on the single life

As a single person, it can be difficult to talk to the good-looking beau in class. No matter how simple it should be, it never is. 

You’ll always feel like you’re going to say something silly or that the question you ask will seem irrelevant. I always seem to be the strange one sending emails to the guy I find attractive in Spanish class asking him about homework. (News update: he didn’t reply to the email, so awkward encounters with him are an everyday occurrence.) 

Putting yourself out there is hard, and when you do sometimes you’re left out in the cold. Rejection can be harsh and coming to the realization someone is not into you is an absolute nightmare. It’s scary to try to talk to the cute guy in the library, so sometimes resorting to social media to flirt or find your next relationship seems easier. 

This is why Tinder was created. With some people it’s a drinking game to see the pickup lines some guys will come up with (“Are you a Clemson parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you,” That one is by far

my favorite.) 

Sometimes they are clever enough to make you smile, like when they make a cute song out of your name. My roommate Caroline always gets the lyrics to “Sweet Caroline.” Bah bah bah. 

For others it’s an attempt to find someone to cuddle (and maybe more) with. As for me, I have tried and failed to find a Tinder match.

I did find my neighbor on Tinder, so now every time I open the door to take the trash out I have to make sure I look presentable or at least halfway decent looking. I always end up seeing my matches on Library Bridge or in the hallway when I’m walking to class.

Of course I bury my face in my phone, completely turn around and take the long way to Hardin Hall, grateful the crisis has been averted. That’s Tinder love for you.

Even making a Tinder profile is a scary task. Finding the perfect photos to describe yourself exactly as you are is hard enough. Doing so without seeming like the crazy cat lady or the desperate girl looking for someone because their mom and grandma always do the “it’s okay but not really that you’re alone” face is rough. 

Even when you do find someone you’re attracted to, that doesn’t mean the feeling will be mutual. The upsetting moment when you find out they didn’t swipe right or respond to your best line is the moment the Rocky Road ice cream and “the trio” come out (Leonardo DiCaprio, Ryan Gosling and Channing Tatum) because they will never disappoint you. 

Finding someone is hard work. Love is certainly a rocky road, but when you do find someone who is compatible with you and as into Harry Potter as you are, all of those awful dates and Tinder matches will be worth it. 

So for now, I’ll be sitting at home watching “Grey’s Anatomy” for the fifth time with my cat, Tillman, and getting buffalo chicken wrap take outs

from Hendrix so I can go home and lay in bed. 

My heater keeps me warmer than some boy would anyway. Everyone has had some weird encounters, whether on Tinder or through email, but just so you

know, you’re not alone. There’s some single out there waiting for you to come along to share food with (as long as it isn’t ice cream because that is territorial).

Happy hunting, and may the odds be ever in your favor.

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