The Kitten should be the only news outlet in the press pool
Lexus Texas, Professional Liar
• April 1, 2025

Scheffy to enter landmark in-house transfer portal, handle different balls
Hockey Girl, Ass. Balls Editor
• April 1, 2025

From the Dictator’s Desk: The Kitten is South Carolina’s best newspaper
Blockalicious Blockysaurus, Blocky-in-Chief
• April 1, 2025

Clemson set to face East High School in postseason scrimmage
Luke Clean Shaven, Ass. Balls Editor
• April 1, 2025

Melly Villy set to headline Super Bowl 60 halftime show
Michelangelo, Sucks Balls
• April 1, 2025

Football lottery tickets to be based on home state
Popstarpepe, Balls Reporter
• April 1, 2025

Crazy in Clemson: Best date night spots on campus
Sydney Smith, Head Minion
• April 1, 2025

Clemson football team to perform Broadway’s Hamilton this fall
Alyssa Dolina, Goon
• April 1, 2025

Clemson Po-po enforces TSA security at all downtown bars
Sammy Sirover, Minion
• April 1, 2025

TD’s bans ‘Before He Cheats’ from karaoke following 22 performances in one night
E-Money, Balls Reporter
• April 1, 2025

Timothée Chalamet to play Jim Clements and Dabo Swinney in new film
Thomas Merzlak, Boss
• April 1, 2025

How Howard’s Rock was stolen—then sniffed out by campus celebrity dog
The Underminer, Ass. Balls Editor
• April 1, 2025
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