Aren’t you tired of that orange and purple? If your answer is yes, there’s no need to fear because Clemson University is bringing back its original school colors of red and blue. 

Starting April 1, any student wearing orange or purple in representation of the old school colors will get five Paw Points deducted from their accounts, which will go towards paying for more red and blue merchandise.

Back in the day, good old Clemson was all about the red and blue, and for some odd reason, they ended up switching to this orange and purple we see everywhere.

“I don’t get why they have such awful colors,”  Felisha Bye, a sophomore fashionista major, said. “On game day, I just have to stay away because that sea of orange on campus is a bit too bright for my taste. Call me shallow, but when I was picking schools, Clemson’s colors made me really rethink that choice,”

We might look like the Ole Miss, University of Pennsylvania or even Oklahoma Panhandle State University, but at the end of the day, Clemson has expressed a desire to return to its old roots; purple and orange are just too much nowadays, and we have a need for more muted color schemes (even though red and blue can be loud too). 

Because of the color change and its effect on all facilities, Clemson will charge each student an extra $200 for every parking ticket to fund and make the changes before the fall semester.

Even though many generations have pridefully worn the colors orange and purple coming and going to this school, Clemson wants to start a new tradition and change its school colors every 5-10 years. 

“This is a necessary change, as many Clemson fans and supporters look way too drap in their way-too-bright orange and purple. Who even decided that those colors were a good idea? I think we need to change the colors periodically until we really find the right fit for our school, and it might be time to update our mascot too,” Jimmmyyy Clemmmyyy, the University leader, said. 

Spirit shops will also need to readjust their colors in accordance with the new law being passed by the Clemson City Council next Monday night. If the stores desire, they can sell the remaining orange and purple attire as antique collectibles. 

This article is satire as part of The Tiger’s April Fool’s edition, The Kitten. This story was written for comedic purposes and has no verifiable truth to it.