Clemson to open underground metro system in secret tunnels under campus

Ava Slay, Aspiring Bystander • April 1, 2026

Clemson’s underground tunnels are no longer just...

Tiger Town Tavern to leave downtown location, replace library Starbucks

CJ The Megaslayer, Doesn’t Even Go Here • April 1, 2026

A new option for a mid-study session pick-me-up is...

Downtown Clemson bar to set fire to bartenders, replace with robots

Lexus Texas, Lies Editor • April 1, 2026

Effective April 31, ROAR Clemson will fire and fully...

Clemson to replace all student parking lots with more green spaces

MattGPT, Computer-Generated Slop • April 1, 2026

In an effort to alleviate concerns about limited parking...

Schilletter to Shitter: Clemson to rename dining hall to reflect poor food quality

Catherine Jones, Granddaughter of Bobby Joney • April 1, 2026

Starting April 2, Schilletter Dining Hall will no longer...

Old student union building haunting green space near McAlister

Sidney TrueLickMe, Ass. Lies Editor • April 1, 2026

A report released on March 32, obtained by The Kitten,...

Election scandal: Duddy and Bave named new student body president, VP

Chicken Nugget Lover, Doesn’t Even Go Here • April 1, 2026

On Monday, Clemson’s Undergraduate Authoritarian...

Clemson curriculum to rely entirely on AI beginning next semester

Drew-O-Matic, He Doesn’t Even Go Here • April 1, 2025

Come fall 2025, Clemson University will become a college...

Clemson Po-po enforces TSA security at all downtown bars

Sammy Sirover, Minion • April 1, 2025

As of March 32, the Clemson Po-po will enforce Transportation...

TD’s bans ‘Before He Cheats’ from karaoke following 22 performances in one night

E-Money, Balls Reporter • April 1, 2025

On Sunday, TD’s of Clemson announced that they have...

Tiger Boulevard to add a third lane to accomodate Chick-fil-A traffic

Emery, Ass. Lies Editor • April 1, 2025

In an attempt to prevent Tiger Boulevard from becoming...

Clemson pre-approves renovations of buildings currently under construction

Hatt Merrick, 100% Telling the Truth I Swear • April 1, 2025

This past Sunday, the Clemson board of trumpets unanimously...