Following his recent success at the American collegiate level, rumors are swirling that Clemson United head coach Mike Noonan has begun receiving interest from several professional European clubs.
Thanks to two national championships in three years, Noonan has attracted the attention of internationally acclaimed players such as Cristiano Ronaldo, Kylian Mbappé and Lionel Messi, who are all vying for the opportunity to play under his leadership.
Per reports, the coach has received inquiries from Manchester United, FC Barcelona and Bayern Munich to be the next manager of their respective clubs.
All three teams are fighting to get back to the top of their individual leagues and are looking for a new boss to help boost their squads as they prioritize a manager with the most championship experience.
After 14 seasons in the Upstate, Noonan has put Clemson men’s soccer back on the map. Most recently, he led the Tigers to a 2-1 victory over Notre Dame in this past season’s College Cup final, bringing their fourth national championship back to Historic Riggs Field.
“I’m happy for Coach Noonan,” an athletic representative said. “He’s helped us put Clemson soccer back at the top, I want to see him bring a team to the top of the Premier League.”
Some people on campus, however, are not as happy.
“What in the Ted Lasso?” one student said. “Going from the collegiate level to a top European league is nuts. Best of luck to him, though.”
“We are doomed!” another said. “I thought we were a soccer school!”
If the Clemson head coach is to leave this summer to join a European giant, he will finish with 168 wins at the helm, which is third in school history. He has also proven his abilities in developing young talent, with 29 former players selected in the MLS SuperDraft throughout his Tiger tenure.
Although he will be missed in Tigertown, it is comforting to know that Noonan reached the peak of collegiate soccer before pursuing his European ambitions.
This article is satire as part of The Tiger’s April Fool’s edition, The Kitten. This story was written for comedic purposes and has no verifiable truth to it.
