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City police lowers drinking age in downtown bars to 18

With the drinking age downtown changed to 18, all Clemson students will be able to indulge in sweet treats downtown.
Ashleigh Snyder
With the drinking age downtown changed to 18, all Clemson students will be able to indulge in sweet treats downtown.

The city of Clemson Police Department has decided to change the legal drinking age in all local downtown Clemson bars to 18 years old.

After various complaints from Mr. Wein regarding the loss of profit, officers finally decided there were more important things to focus on than an 18-year-old just enjoying a Blue Motorcycle litcher.

The decision, which has sparked both excitement and disbelief among the Clemson community, comes as a surprising twist to Clemson students and faculty. Many professors even say they think the chance to engage in drinking will encourage more group work and have a positive impact on the learning environment.

Professors in the psychology department conducted research and concluded that alcohol stimulates neurons in the brain, which may increase grades and self-confidence.

“We believe in giving our patrons the freedom to make responsible choices. Lowering the drinking age to 18 not only aligns with our students’ rights but also fosters a more inclusive and enjoyable nightlife experience,” Jeff, a bodyguard at Roar, said.

City police have been teetering with the idea of lowering the drinking age for a long time. Coming to this conclusion meant that city police could spend more time focusing on crimes in Clemson.

“After this past Ain’t Patty’s Day, we all got to thinking — we realized it’s not a big deal if we let 18-year-olds just indulge in a sweet treat. If their sweet treat of choice is some Jetfuel, then that’s their decision to make,” one officer commented.

Instead of showing a horizontal license, Clemson students will now need to show their school ID and enter their CUID number to earn access to bars in downtown Clemson.

From now on, if a cop says, “show me your ID,” just flash them your school ID and raise your glass to the European lifestyle (drinking heavily in your teenage years).

This article is satire as part of The Tiger’s April Fool’s edition, The Kitten. This story was written for comedic purposes and has no verifiable truth to it.

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Ashleigh Snyder
Ashleigh Snyder, Photo Editor
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Comments (4)

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  • B

    BrentMay 8, 2024 at 10:42 am

    That was a good April Fool’s joke article. Actually, Europeans who drink during their adolescent years tend to drink less per occasion than their American peers. That’s probably because, thanks to the more reasonable drinking ages in their countries, they feel less of a need to drink all they can when they do come across the opportunity to drink.

  • L

    LisaApr 2, 2024 at 6:36 am

    I loved this

  • G

    Gary SatterwhiteApr 2, 2024 at 5:46 am

    That was a good April’s fool joke…

  • D

    Doris StylesApr 1, 2024 at 8:06 pm

    What a STUPID idea!!