The Kitten Archives - Page 9 of 13

Speak Up: Satire

March 30, 2023

How long have you been a student at Clemson University? What advice do you have for incoming students? “I’ve been here for two years, and I love it. I would suggest trying to find a club or...

Schilletter replaces ‘Tendy Tuesday’ with ‘Thoughtful Tuesday’

Emma Vick, Shit Editor • March 30, 2023

Clemson Dining announced this week that Tendy Tuesday will no longer exist in the Schilletter Dining Hall starting next week. Instead, it will be replaced by Thoughtful Tuesday with an additional...

Brevin Galloway suffers traumatic testicular injury (again)

Griggin Garfield, Senior Balls • March 30, 2023

Last weekend, the Clemson men’s basketball team announced that guard Brevin Galloway re-injured his testicles and will undergo surgery later this week. Despite this specific injury being quite rare,...

Clemson announces plans to turn Littlejohn Coliseum into an ice rink

Kelli Blahblah, Senior Balls • March 30, 2023

Following the Clemson men’s basketball team’s second consecutive season without a tournament appearance, the University has announced plans to renovate Littlejohn Coliseum to accommodate a...

USC Satellite Campuses to be renamed after Clemson takeover

Alex G Calerney III, Ass Shit Editor • March 30, 2023

After the announcement of Clemson’s takeover of USC, new names were released for USC’s satellite campuses. USC Upstate will be renamed Clemson: Murderburg; USC Aiken will be renamed Clemson:...

TimeOutside: Outdoor clocks in Clemson area

Alex G Calerney III, Ass Shit Editor • March 30, 2023

The Clemson area is known for its wonderful outdoor timepieces, and this week we’ll be taking a look at some of the finest examples of public chronometers in the region. Old Main Clock Tower This...

CUPD to rebrand as Paw Patrol

Alex G Calerney III, Ass Shit Editor • March 30, 2023

Clemson University Police Department has announced that they will rebrand as Clemson Paw Patrol into a nicer, gentler image for a force infamous for their MIP brutality. They also stated that all on-duty...

Tiger’s Two Cents: April 1st

Granny Lucifer//News Editor Natalie Pecker//Porncaster Editor • March 30, 2023

Do you have any advice for what to wear to a spring formal? Spring formals are always so fun! But, they can be a challenge to dress for, especially if it’s hot outside. I would suggest trying to...

Clemson admissions plans on banning New Jersey students from gaining acceptance

Victor-Emery, Minion to the Propaganda Editor • April 1, 2022

For With their obnoxious, egotistical personalities and reckless driving (although hardly worse than the South Carolina residents), New Jersey students are overpopulating Clemson and taking away its “southern...

Clemson Athletics extends Brad Brownell’s contract

Anne Leasig, Local Nobody • April 1, 2022

After a groundbreaking season, Clemson men’s basketball head coach Brad Brownell is getting paid. Clemson’s Athletic department announced on Friday that Brownell is signing a five-year contract...

New Badminton Facility to replace the Upper Intramural Field

Fran Fran Raisin Bran, Ass Editor • April 1, 2022

In a recent update sent out to the student body, Clemson Athletics has announced that construction of the new men’s badminton facility, which will replace the upper intramural field on the north...

Deshaun Watson returns to Clemson amid struggle to find new home in the NFL

Grack O’Donel, Senior Bullshitter • April 1, 2022

In a stunning move, Deshaun Watson has announced his return to Death Valley for the 2022 season. After failing to win a Super Bowl with the Houston Texans, Watson has his sights set on a second National...