Clemson fans and hip-hop listeners were shocked when Clemson’s Tiger Cub mascot surprise-dropped his debut mixtape on March 31. The diminutive feline, who has adopted the name “Lil Cubby” for his musical endeavors, released the 25-track self-titled project on SoundCloud.
The mixtape is a star-studded release. Producers include Jay-Z, Pharrell, the Alchemist, JPEGMAFIA, DJ Khaled and Metro Boomin. André 3000 plays the flute on the track “Triple-T T-Shirt,” and Martin Scorsese directed the song’s music video.
Kendrick Lamar features on the straightforwardly titled diss track “I Hate the South Carolina Gamecocks (A Lot).” Lamar’s devastating verse attacks the entire city of Columbia, calling it “almost as bad as Drake.”
Lil Cubby says he was most excited about Ms. Lauryn Hill’s feature on the track “Esso Club,” which almost didn’t happen. “We really had no idea if she was going to show up,” the cub said. “Her agent just told us she’d be there if she felt like it.”
Other featured artists include Tyler, the Creator, Future, Drake, Eminem, Lil Yachty, Snoop Dogg, Taylor Swift, Bob Dylan, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Hans Zimmer, Björk, Clairo and Clemson icon DJ Sha. Kanye West contacted Cubby’s team and “begged for a feature,” but was turned away because, in the cub’s words, “I wanted to avoid having any bars about Hitler on this project.”
The only non-rap songs on the album are a cover of black midi’s “Welcome to Hell” — which is surprisingly faithful to the original despite being re-titled “Welcome to Columbia” — and a beautiful rendition of the Clemson University alma mater that closes the project.
Lil Cubby doesn’t shy away from samples: the mixtape’s intro incorporates the iconic line “they don’t put championship rings on smooth hands” from Clemson football’s fourth-quarter video, while the gospel-influenced “Hail Mary” samples multiple instances of Dabo Swinney thanking God.
Other songs on the record include “Perimeter Road Traffic Jam,” “Death Valley Freestyle,” “Dabo Swinney’s Baseball Cap,” “Old Main” and the ten-minute narrative “I Got Lost in the Experimental Forest (Not Clickbait) [Feat. Taylor Swift and Cade Klubnik].”
The mixtape has been greeted with widespread critical acclaim. Rolling Stone gave it a perfect 5-star rating, claiming that “Cubby’s debut is easily the best rap full-length by a smaller version of a collegiate sports mascot that we’ve ever heard.” Pitchfork awarded it their first ever 11.0 score, calling it “the most innovative rap project we’ve heard since Death Grips broke up.”
At press time, Lil Cubby was preparing a response to the South Carolina Gamecock’s diss track “Our Women’s Basketball Team is Really Good Though,” which received a rare -10.0 score from Pitchfork.
“Lil Cubby” is available to stream on SoundCloud. Any and all royalties will go towards a fund dedicated to refilling the Cooper Library reflection pond. Cubby and an all-star lineup of guests will perform a selection of songs from the album in Littlejohn Coliseum on April 32.
This satirical article is part of The Tiger’s April Fool’s edition, The Kitten. This story was written for comedic purposes and has no verifiable truth to it.
