Clemson Music Fest announced yesterday that eight new artists will take the place of the previous performers in an effort to raise money for people suffering from Gamecock Syndrome.

Kendrick Lamar, Drake, Beyoncé and Harry Styles will take the stage on Friday, while Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, Lady Gaga and Rihanna will perform on Saturday.

Lamar and Drake will perform as a rap duo, and have been working hard on their setlist and a choreographed trapeze performance for their hit song “Hotline Humble,” an insider told The Kitten.

In addition to performing fan-favorite songs like “Nokia” and “Sing About Me, I’m Dying of Thirst,” the two artists are expected to perform unreleased tracks.

Beyoncé and Styles will perform hit songs “Single Ladies,” “Halo,” “As It Was,” “Watermelon Sugar” and more as a pop duo. Audiences can expect to see the two make a grand entrance to the festival on exotic African elephants.

Popstars Swift and Grande will hand out free Double Chunk Chocolate Cookies and Chicken Bake to the first 500 fans in line for their set, aiming to bring “super hype energy to the crowds” before their big performances on Saturday, Swift told The Kitten in an exclusive interview.

She also teased that A.J., Big Justice and the Rizzler may be joining them to perform their viral remix of “We Bring the Boom.”

Gaga and Rihanna are scheduled to perform TikTok dances from 2020 to songs “Savage” and “WAP” to bring “nostalgia” to Tigertown, according to former Zype House member Rosh Jichards. Jichards was hired as the two’s choreographer.

100% of proceeds from tickets, food, drinks and merchandise will be donated to hospitals in Columbia, South Carolina, to help pay for the medical treatment of students who attend the University of Second Choice. 86% of the school’s population has been diagnosed with Gamecock Syndrome, a terminal disease.

Zadam Pandler, a senior theater kid major at Clemson, told The Kitten that the new CMF performers will make the festival “one for the books.”

“I also think it’s awesome that Clemson Music Fest is taking this opportunity to make a difference in the lives of those affected by Gamecock Syndrome,” Pandler said.

This satirical article is part of The Tiger’s April Fool’s edition, The Kitten. This story was written for comedic purposes and has no verifiable truth to it.