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Thanksgiving: down to the giblets

Ah, Thanksgiving: the only day of the year you get to gorge on turkey, watch the parade, and pass out in a food coma while watching football. What more could anyone want out of a single day of the year? However lovely all of this may seem, Thanksgiving has a not-so-great counterpart too. There are pros and cons to every holiday, and Thanksgiving isn’t excluded from that list.
1. Cooking the turkey: Even though it’s usually cold and way too early in the morning, cooking the turkey is actually kind of enjoyable. Dropping that 14-pound bird into the fryer is the best sizzling sound you’ve ever heard. Don’t even get me started on how it smells when it’s pulled out.
2. Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade: This 91-year-old tradition is a favorite among many households. Many people have fond memories of watching the parade as a child. It’s also fun to get to see what new giant balloons are introduced each year.
3. Dessert: Yeah, the main meal is great and all, but dessert is always the best part! Apple pie, pecan pie, pumpkin pie, peach cobbler, blueberry cobbler, sweet potato soufflé, cheesecake, the list goes on. You could probably eat only dessert and still go into a food coma. Turkey is great, but sweet, sweet pie is so much better.
4. Football: Sometimes the best part of a holiday is after the main event is already over. After you’ve topped off your tank during the meal, a great way to take a break to digest it all is kick back and partake in a little football on the couch. Feel free to have a little nap while you’re at it. Don’t worry about missing much because there’s games on all day long.
1. Green Bean Casserole: What absolute monster thought that creating this abomination was a good idea? I don’t know anyone that would actually want to eat something that resembles the “troll bogies” from Harry Potter. Plus, green beans and mushroom soup? No thanks.
2. Preparation: One of the best parts of Thanksgiving for sure is the huge meal, but sadly it doesn’t just magically appear on the table. Someone has to prepare it, and if you are that person, I send my apologies. It’s been scientifically proven that food tastes better when someone else makes it, so pray that you aren’t picked for the prep team this year.
3. Dishes: No one likes cleaning up in general, so who would want to clean up an even bigger than normal pile of plates after a huge meal? Plus, all the big pots and pans used to cook everything are full of oil and grease, which aren’t exactly the easiest to clean.
4. All the Food: One of the best parts of Thanksgiving is the food, but that’s only one side of the coin. What comes after you eat all the rich, sweet goodness your grandma made and that you had three helpings of? The bloated stomach and the food coma. Not to mention the mysterious couple of pounds you seem to gain in the next few days.

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