It seems everywhere you go, sex is rampant — especially in a college setting.
“Never have I ever had sex with *insert any gender here*”
Regardless of your sexuality or beliefs, being the only person in the room with a finger held up is intimidating. In fact, sometimes it downright sucks. The words ring through your head: “you’re still a virgin,” and there aren’t enough drinks to make you forget.
There’s always the “I’m saving myself for marriage,” except that’s not my intended goal. Neither is the “save it for someone you love” argument.
I know what you’re thinking: virginity is a concept. This isn’t one of those “woe is me” dude-bro pieces you’d find on Reddit, virginity is 100 percent a concept. But that doesn’t mean that we all instantly forget about it. The scarlet “V” is smacked across your forehead, and you feel as though there’s nothing you can do.
But listen guys, I’m here to tell you that no one cares if you’re a virgin. That sounds harsh, but I’m going to say it again: no one cares.
Your friends may make fun you, but odds are, they’re more worried about their sex lives than yours. If they care about you, they’ll understand what you’re going through, because (shocker), they’ve been in your shoes, too.
Take your time of sexual non-conquest to figure yourself out. While sex has a façade of being fun, occasionally you’ll hear an “if I could take it back so I didn’t have to lose it to him/her, I would.” You’re at an age where you want to define who you are. By doing that, you’ll be able to have the confidence that will ultimately help you out. It also gives you time to figure out what you like. Maybe you like girls, other guys, or don’t even like sex. That’s OK; let your freak flag fly.
Also, don’t go to other sources to get your expectations of sex. As juicy as that fan-fiction or “50 Shades of Grey” book was, sex is going to be nothing like that. And you might be asking: “Well, you’re a virgin, so how do you know that?” I know that because this life isn’t a movie, Bueller. Things aren’t going to go your way, but when you finally hit the sheets, you’re better off reading actual literature than some rejected “Twilight” fantasy.
Finally, take into consideration why you think it sucks so bad that you’re a virgin. Odds are, everyone isn’t having sex every five seconds. In fact, most of the people who harshly make fun of you for being a member of the V-club make fun of women for exploring their sexuality. Those guys suck and you wouldn’t want to have sex with that type of person anyway.
So to my fellow male virgins, calm down. Your time is coming, and when it does, it’ll be awkward. It’ll be quick and it may not even be enjoyable.
XOXO,
Richard Joques