My partner and I were running low on condoms at one point, and we decided to get more the next time we had a mass excursion to the store with our roommates. Upon getting to the store, everyone split up, and since they were going to be in the general direction of the personal health section, I mentioned that they should get the condoms. Since we were still a little new to the sex scene, we had made it our mission to try every different kind of condom on the market (pro tip as far as I can tell: there’s really no difference). They came back a little while later with a brand-new box of 10 and we were on our way.
A few days later, sexy time imminent, we whipped out the new box and, uh, used the device. Things were going well for the both of us until things started to feel weird down under for myself. I told them I needed to stop because something didn’t feel right. I disembarked and scoped out the situation. It turns out that I had gone completely limp and could not get it back up. I started freaking out and wondering if I had erectile dysfunction at the young age of 20.
After a few minutes of panicking, my partner happened to glance at the box of condoms. They grabbed me to get my attention and said, “Hey. The condoms are ‘dulled-sensation’ condoms.” It turns out that the condoms had some kind of numbing gel on the inside, and it looked like it was quite potent. The relief I experienced after they said that was indescribable.
Although the source of my troubles had been identified, I couldn’t do anything about the symptom. We ended up not doing anything for the rest of the night because my dick was completely numb and stayed that way for another hour. They were disappointed, I was disappointed, but what can you do when you can’t feel anything when you pee?
All I’ll say is that we will not be purchasing those condoms again, and my partner will actually be reading the box description before they get any new type of sexual protection in the future. Also be honest, I’m a little scared to touch the small box stashed in the back of my junk drawer. Just read what you’re buying before you buy it.