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The Tiger

The Tiger to move into Clemson football facility

Clemson Football
The facility will include inspirational quotes for journalists by Rustin Jobertson.

Clemson University has announced that the Allen N. Reeves Football Complex will be repurposed as a new office space for The Tiger. The facility is 178,000 square feet and gives The Tiger ample space for meetings, printers and rooms for various other activities.

The $55 million facility opened in 2017, following Clemson’s national championship win that January. However, with Clemson’s recent football failures, the University decided that the facility should go to an organization that has won multiple awards in recent years, and The Tiger was at the top of the list.

With many fantastic features, such as a steam room, pools, a weight room, and a nutrition center, the staff members of The Tiger will have all of their needs met in the new space. The Tiger’s Mommy-in-Chief, Blake “Mommy” Mauro, spoke about how The Tiger might use the facility in an interview with The Kitten.

“I am thrilled that The Tiger will have access to a state-of-the-art facility where we can write about the pressing issues in Clemson, like where the best bathroom on campus is, or another story about Clemson’s football team,” Mommy said. “We are also excited about the massive lounge space that will be used for our nightly Disney movie watch parties.”

Although the Clemson football team does not currently have a place to practice, the team’s head coach, Dangle Swinger, spoke about the news that The Tiger will take over the football facility and supported the move.

“The Tiger always provides immediate coverage on the happenings of Clemson and has brought more eyes to Clemson University than the football team could ever wish to,” Swifty said.

Swashbuckler isn’t the only high-ranking Clemson official who has shown their support for this move, as Clemson President Grimm Giblets also spoke about his support for The Tiger and its need for a larger office space.

“As The Tiger continues to grow into one of the most prolific college newspapers in the United States, so does its need for a large office space,” Giblets said. “The staff are some of the most hardworking and dedicated students at Clemson and deserve to have a space where they can showcase their talent and creativity.”

The Tiger has already announced some renovations and changes it will bring to the facility. The most shocking change is a $20 million plan to increase the security and cameras around the facility, ensuring that students stop stealing The Tiger’s newspaper stands.

Other renovations include the creation of a parking lot that will only be accessible to staff members of The Tiger and a rage room that can be used by staff members when they see grammatical errors.

As The Tiger begins moving into the new office space, Clemson has unveiled a new name for the facility: The Rustin Jobertson Newspaper Complex. This building will now serve as a beacon of hope for young journalists looking to impact Clemson University and the surrounding areas.

This article is satire as part of The Tiger’s April Fool’s edition, The Kitten. This story was written for comedic purposes and has no verifiable truth to it.

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