Kitten News Archives

Clemson acquires USC as its Columbia campus

David Ferrara, Know-it-All • March 30, 2023

In the interest of saving money and letting go of dead weight, the South Carolina Legislature approved a bill Thursday to consolidate the University of South Carolina into Clemson University, making the...

USC Satellite Campuses to be renamed after Clemson takeover

Alex G Calerney III, Ass Shit Editor • March 30, 2023

After the announcement of Clemson’s takeover of USC, new names were released for USC’s satellite campuses. USC Upstate will be renamed Clemson: Murderburg; USC Aiken will be renamed Clemson:...

Football tickets to be awarded by GPA

Alex G Calerney III, Ass Shit Editior • March 30, 2023

Big changes are coming to the way student football tickets are awarded for this fall semester, just as has been the case for the past decade.The lottery system will stay; however, entries will now be based...

Clemson Bridge students lose on campus access

Anne Marie Lessig, Ass Balls Editor • March 30, 2023

On Tuesday, Clemson University released a statement announcing that Clemson Bridge students will no longer have access to on-campus facilities and buildings. The decision was made due to overcrowding and...

CUPD installs breathalyzers on Greek Quad

Alex G Calerney III, Ass Shit Editor • March 30, 2023

The Clemson University Police Department recently announced that they would be installing breathalyzers at the entrances to all dorms on the Greek Quad. The dorms’ doors will be equipped with small...

Top 5 crimes

Garrett Kent, Shit Reporter • March 30, 2023

5. Pointing and presenting firearm at person Definitely not the vibe. 4. Unlawful dissemination or promotion of obscenity Were they promoting that new god-awful Miley Cyrus song? 3. Moped theft Is nothing...

New Park-N-Ride lot at T. Ed Garrison Arena

Alex G Calerney III, Ass Shit Editor • March 30, 2023

Clemson Parking services recently announced that they are building a new remote parking lot at the T. Ed Garrison Arena to alleviate the parking problems caused by the new Bigjohn Arena project. The new...

New Best of Clemson winners announced in runoff vote

David Ferrara, Know-it-All • March 30, 2023

The Tiger is excited to announce the winners of two new categories after a close competition for Best Bar: Best Bar for People Over 21 and Best Bar for People Under 21. Congratulations to Tiger Town Tavern...

Clemson Parking ranked No. 1 in the country

Emma Vick, News Editor • March 30, 2023

Clemson Parking Services ranked first place for customer service, revenue and strictness in the 2023 National Parking Services U.S. Report “Clemson Parking is a fantastic service that makes our students...

Schilletter replaces ‘Tendy Tuesday’ with ‘Thoughtful Tuesday’

Emma Vick, Shit Editor • March 30, 2023

Clemson Dining announced this week that Tendy Tuesday will no longer exist in the Schilletter Dining Hall starting next week. Instead, it will be replaced by Thoughtful Tuesday with an additional...

CUPD to rebrand as Paw Patrol

Alex G Calerney III, Ass Shit Editor • March 30, 2023

Clemson University Police Department has announced that they will rebrand as Clemson Paw Patrol into a nicer, gentler image for a force infamous for their MIP brutality. They also stated that all on-duty...

Littlejohn to be expanded to Bigjohn

Alex G Calerney III, Ass Shit Editor • March 30, 2023

Athletic Director Grum Nuff recently announced the expansion of the Littlejohn Coliseum. “After this record-breaking season, we are really excited to build on the work of our great athletes,”...