If you and your partner are looking to spice up your on-campus relationship, I have the perfect ideas for you.

If you are wanting some quiet time, the second floor of the library is perfect for getting sexy in the stacks without having to hear anyone else!

For something silly and slippery, the best option is the pool outside of Douthit B. The water is perfect because it’s only about a foot deep. No accidental drowning on date night!

Some couples feel the most connected when they are being creative, so the bell tower is the perfect place to make your own kind of music. Play any song on the bells for everyone to hear, but keep the experience to yourself.

Nature has a special way of bringing people together, making the greenhouses the perfect place for romance to bloom. Maybe you can find a snack or two growing to fuel up after your fun.

Since the bathrooms in the WAP Center were voted the cleanest by the student body, it seems like the perfect place to take your WAP (if you know what I mean). There are even sinks and soap to make sure you’re squeaky clean before your special evening!

Take all that chemistry and go to one of the many science labs on campus. The rooms are spacious and there are goggles and safety gear in case things get crazy!

After a date, it’s normal to be starved. So, to kill two birds with one stone, head to the top floor of the Core dining hall. Enjoy dinner downstairs and then head up for your dessert. It’s the perfect two-stop shop.

Alone time on campus can be difficult, but just remember that there are plenty of ways to spice up your semester. If you wish you had a partner, don’t fret, just make sure to be on the prowl wherever you are on campus and be ready to pounce at any moment.

Best of luck, kitty cats!

This satirical article is part of The Tiger’s April Fool’s edition, The Kitten. This story was written for comedic purposes and has no verifiable truth to it.