Kitten News Archives

Clemson Parking ranked No. 1 in the country

Emma Vick, News Editor • March 30, 2023

Clemson Parking Services ranked first place for customer service, revenue and strictness in the 2023 National Parking Services U.S. Report “Clemson Parking is a fantastic service that makes our students...

Schilletter replaces ‘Tendy Tuesday’ with ‘Thoughtful Tuesday’

Emma Vick, Shit Editor • March 30, 2023

Clemson Dining announced this week that Tendy Tuesday will no longer exist in the Schilletter Dining Hall starting next week. Instead, it will be replaced by Thoughtful Tuesday with an additional...

CUPD to rebrand as Paw Patrol

Alex G Calerney III, Ass Shit Editor • March 30, 2023

Clemson University Police Department has announced that they will rebrand as Clemson Paw Patrol into a nicer, gentler image for a force infamous for their MIP brutality. They also stated that all on-duty...

Littlejohn to be expanded to Bigjohn

Alex G Calerney III, Ass Shit Editor • March 30, 2023

Athletic Director Grum Nuff recently announced the expansion of the Littlejohn Coliseum. “After this record-breaking season, we are really excited to build on the work of our great athletes,”...

Clemson football announces Real Housewives of Death Valley series premiere

Blake Mauro, Associate Editor • March 30, 2023

We obviously all miss Trevor Lawrence, Braden Galloway and Darien Rencher on the field, especially after the past few seasons, but not as much as we miss their arm candy and their show-stopping game-day...

US Highway 93 to be converted to bike lane

Alex G Calerney III, Ass Shit Editor • March 30, 2023

The city of Clemson announced its latest improvement to the city’s bike infrastructure with the release of plans to convert Old Greenville Highway into a massive bike lane between downtown Clemson...

Bowman to be converted to football practice facility

Alex G Calerney III, Ass Shit Editor • March 30, 2023

Head coach Daddy Swindler announced on Friday that Clemson football is taking over Bowman Field and converting it into their newest practice spot. “After a disappointing last couple of seasons, it’s...

SCDOT develops final plan for Tiger Boulevard

Corey Glenn, Ass Shit Editor • March 30, 2023

Traffic on Tiger Boulevard has been a significant problem for many years, and the South Carolina Department of Transportation has devised a final solution for the problem. A new elevated freeway is set...

Clemson acquires USC as its Columbia campus

David Ferrara, Know-it-All • March 30, 2023

In the interest of saving money and letting go of dead weight, the South Carolina Legislature approved a bill Thursday to consolidate the University of South Carolina into Clemson University, making the...

USC Satellite Campuses to be renamed after Clemson takeover

Alex G Calerney III, Ass Shit Editor • March 30, 2023

After the announcement of Clemson’s takeover of USC, new names were released for USC’s satellite campuses. USC Upstate will be renamed Clemson: Murderburg; USC Aiken will be renamed Clemson:...

Football tickets to be awarded by GPA

Alex G Calerney III, Ass Shit Editior • March 30, 2023

Big changes are coming to the way student football tickets are awarded for this fall semester, just as has been the case for the past decade.The lottery system will stay; however, entries will now be based...

Clemson Bridge students lose on campus access

Anne Marie Lessig, Ass Balls Editor • March 30, 2023

On Tuesday, Clemson University released a statement announcing that Clemson Bridge students will no longer have access to on-campus facilities and buildings. The decision was made due to overcrowding and...