Kitten News Archives

CUPD installs breathalyzers on Greek Quad

Alex G Calerney III, Ass Shit Editor • March 30, 2023

The Clemson University Police Department recently announced that they would be installing breathalyzers at the entrances to all dorms on the Greek Quad. The dorms’ doors will be equipped with small...

Top 5 crimes

Garrett Kent, Shit Reporter • March 30, 2023

5. Pointing and presenting firearm at person Definitely not the vibe. 4. Unlawful dissemination or promotion of obscenity Were they promoting that new god-awful Miley Cyrus song? 3. Moped theft Is nothing...

New Park-N-Ride lot at T. Ed Garrison Arena

Alex G Calerney III, Ass Shit Editor • March 30, 2023

Clemson Parking services recently announced that they are building a new remote parking lot at the T. Ed Garrison Arena to alleviate the parking problems caused by the new Bigjohn Arena project. The new...

New Best of Clemson winners announced in runoff vote

David Ferrara, Know-it-All • March 30, 2023

The Tiger is excited to announce the winners of two new categories after a close competition for Best Bar: Best Bar for People Over 21 and Best Bar for People Under 21. Congratulations to Tiger Town Tavern...

Clemson Parking ranked No. 1 in the country

Emma Vick, News Editor • March 30, 2023

Clemson Parking Services ranked first place for customer service, revenue and strictness in the 2023 National Parking Services U.S. Report “Clemson Parking is a fantastic service that makes our students...

Schilletter replaces ‘Tendy Tuesday’ with ‘Thoughtful Tuesday’

Emma Vick, Shit Editor • March 30, 2023

Clemson Dining announced this week that Tendy Tuesday will no longer exist in the Schilletter Dining Hall starting next week. Instead, it will be replaced by Thoughtful Tuesday with an additional...

CUPD to rebrand as Paw Patrol

Alex G Calerney III, Ass Shit Editor • March 30, 2023

Clemson University Police Department has announced that they will rebrand as Clemson Paw Patrol into a nicer, gentler image for a force infamous for their MIP brutality. They also stated that all on-duty...

Littlejohn to be expanded to Bigjohn

Alex G Calerney III, Ass Shit Editor • March 30, 2023

Athletic Director Grum Nuff recently announced the expansion of the Littlejohn Coliseum. “After this record-breaking season, we are really excited to build on the work of our great athletes,”...

Clemson football announces Real Housewives of Death Valley series premiere

Blake Mauro, Associate Editor • March 30, 2023

We obviously all miss Trevor Lawrence, Braden Galloway and Darien Rencher on the field, especially after the past few seasons, but not as much as we miss their arm candy and their show-stopping game-day...

US Highway 93 to be converted to bike lane

Alex G Calerney III, Ass Shit Editor • March 30, 2023

The city of Clemson announced its latest improvement to the city’s bike infrastructure with the release of plans to convert Old Greenville Highway into a massive bike lane between downtown Clemson...

Bowman to be converted to football practice facility

Alex G Calerney III, Ass Shit Editor • March 30, 2023

Head coach Daddy Swindler announced on Friday that Clemson football is taking over Bowman Field and converting it into their newest practice spot. “After a disappointing last couple of seasons, it’s...

SCDOT develops final plan for Tiger Boulevard

Corey Glenn, Ass Shit Editor • March 30, 2023

Traffic on Tiger Boulevard has been a significant problem for many years, and the South Carolina Department of Transportation has devised a final solution for the problem. A new elevated freeway is set...