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BS Tiger Briefs: Size Doesn’t Matter

Animal and veterinary science (AVS) majors will be dropping puppies from Library Bridge on Friday, April 1. If you can catch the puppy, you can keep the puppy. The AVS majors will also be releasing two ducks into the reflection pond, followed by Sebastian the alligator to observe the circle of life in a more hands-on manner.
All-Inclusive Alma Mater
The Clemson University music department has announced that there will be a change to the University’s Alma Mater. After much consideration for a recent lull in football attendance, band director Mark Spede has announced that the University’s new Alma Mater will be techno band Zombie Nation’s “Kerncraft 400.” With this change, there will be much less for students and fans to remember with the only lyrics being “oooOOoooOOoooooOOOOOooo, Go Tigers.”
Where are the nuts?
White House Press Secretary, Jen Psaki, announced a leguming disaster on the horizon, citing peanut shortages being reported from the U.S. Department of Agriculture. This combined with the increase in gas prices will likely lead to delay in peanut shipments to the southeast. This will greatly impact Greek life here at Clemson, as several organizations commonly utilize several peanut based products in their regular operations.
Football team gets what they deserve
Construction plans for Memorial Stadium have changed as Dabo Swinney has recently purchased the plot of land for his second home. After questions arose for what these renovations meant for this year’s spring game, it has been announced that the Orange and White game will be played on the upper intramural fields, upper intramural fields to the north side of Death Valley, which will soon be replaced with the new Clemson badminton Stadium.

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