The one debate that comes up every November when Clemson takes on USC Jr. is which school is better than the other. What we often glance over, however, is which city truly reigns supreme.
Today, I say it’s finally time to take a look at the facts to determine which city reigns supreme over the other. When looking at various facts and statistics, it becomes extremely obvious: Columbia absolutely clears Clemson; it isn’t even close.
To start, let’s take a look at the crime statistics for each city. When it comes to determining where you want to go to college, it’s probably a good idea to know just how safe that city is.
When examining the crime rate in Clemson, the city averages 24.55 crimes per 1000 residents and an even lower violent crime rate of 21.99 per 1000 residents. Simply put, that statistic is BORING!
Who wants to walk around in a city that sees less crime than the national and state average? Wouldn’t you much rather have the adrenaline rush of constantly looking over your shoulder as you walk through the streets?
If you answered yes to that question, then Columbia is absolutely the city for you! With an overall crime rate of 34.94 and a violent crime rate of 28.9 per 1000 residents, Columbia enters both statistical categories well above the national average.
With crime rates that high, there’s never a dull moment in Columbia. Besides, who wants to walk outside at night anyway?
Besides the higher crime rates, there are other factors that make Columbia so much better than Clemson. For example, the traffic in Columbia is much worse than in Clemson.
Now I must admit, I don’t have any statistics to back me up on Clemson’s traffic stats, but my own experience tells me that we never have to worry about traffic here. If I want to drive around Clemson, I can get from point A to point B very quickly — that’s a problem.
How am I supposed to listen to my 100-song playlist if I’m going across town in 10 minutes? That just isn’t feasible.
What I do have stats for, however, is Columbia’s traffic, and let me tell you it is a doozy. Out of nearly 1000 cities worldwide, Columbia comes in at No. 613 for most traffic congestion. In the U.S. alone, Columbia ranks No. 121.
Each year, drivers in the great city of Columbia spend 18 hours in traffic. That’s almost enough time to listen to Taylor Swift’s entire discography, which makes it the perfect city to get through your various playlists!
Whether it be the high crime rate or the high volume of traffic, Columbia stands out from Clemson in every way. It is these factors that make the debate clear: Columbia is way better than Clemson, and it always will be.
NateDAWGGG is a junior crime expert from Murderburg, South Cakalaky. Don’t contact NateDAWGG because he’s right and doesn’t respond well to criticism.
This satirical article is part of The Tiger’s April Fool’s edition, The Kitten. This story was written for comedic purposes and has no verifiable truth to it.
